3-20-2012

I know it has been a long time since I updated my blog.  I now have good reason! Scott and I are so happy to finally announce that we are expecting and due in March.  We "graduated" from the fertility doctor at 8 weeks after two sonograms.  It was such an amazing feeling to see the heartbeat for the first time.  We have now seen our regular OB twice and everything is looking good and right on schedule.  It has been a long journey for us, but all of the negative and sad feelings have now been replaced with such an amazing feeling. We are so excited for March to get here!

Fertility

Well, we finally made it to our first fertility appointment.  After all the heartache, it felt like this day would never get here.  Although we don't have a definite diagnosis, we have a plan.  The first obstacle we have to tackle involves increasing the thickness of my lining, which I have felt has been a problem all along.  We don't know for sure how this is going to happen, but we are trying a few different things.  Hopefully our journey will be as simple as taking a few medications.  I always try not to get my hopes up to high, but we now have a renewed hope, which is something I was needing. 

Moving Forward

These last few weeks have been tough on us, but we are definitely moving forward. We try not to allow ourselves to feel sad for too long. My physician had already consulted with the fertility center after our third loss, and now it is time for an actual appointment. It is quite a process with lots of paperwork, but it is turned in and ready to go. Although this is never the path on thought I would have to take, I am excited for what the future may hold for us. Overall I remain optimistic and hope that someday I will understand the reasoning behind the path we are on.
On a positive note, with all our troubles, I have decided to take advantage of the time we have been given and start graduate school. I am taking my time getting through the program, but very excited about where I will be at the end. Neither journey I'm on would be possible with out the support of my friends and family and I hope they all know that.

Not a good day

Well, this is my first official post. To be honest, I'm still not sure how I feel about doing this blog. I don't mind talking about my struggles, and sometimes I think it helps. Through my journey I have already met several friends with similar struggles, so I know there are several others out there. I have received so much support from my friends and family. I'm not sure I could do this without them. I hope this blog helps others out there. I feel like this is a subject that some people shy away from talking about, and I completely understand. In my case, at this point in my life, I feel like it's best for me to share my story.
Today I went to the doctor for what would have been my first ob appointment for my 4th pregnancy. I had a better feeling about this pregnancy, and had reasons to feel this way. My hcg was higher than it had ever been, and I had started to feel some symptoms. I was very nervous for my first appointment. He wanted to see me early due to my history, today I would have been 6 weeks. During the appointment he did an ultrasound, and he couldn't find anything. This is exactly what happened with my first pregnancy as well. So for the second time I am sitting at home waiting to have a miscarriage, which I have to say is a strange feeling. I have pretty much had every lab test under the sun, and not much has turned up. So far, the only thing is I am positive for MTHFR, which in my case doesn't really mean much. I just take a special prenatal vitamin. There is one test left to due, which I was planning on doing after the first of the year, but since I had become pregnant again, I put it off. I suppose I will be doing it shortly and hopefully making a trip to see the fertility doctors in town, who I have heard very good things about. I know this terrible feelings will be replaced by joy one day, but until then, I just try and live day to day.